Don't Judge A Monster By It's Claws

 Sorry I ent bin on here fer ages, been 'hem busy. 

 Damn slugs are at me cabbages again.

How are ya all doin' now it's the holidays? Look after yer selves out there, s'not safe.

Isn't it a lovely day?

This calls fer a celebration. Who wants rock cakes?

I'd jus' like ter say thanks to all of yeh who came down ter help me put out that fire. I'm afraid me quilts ruined beyond repair, and me roof is very singed, but otherwise, I seem to hav' faired well. I suppose it was more the panic tha' caused any real damage.

But, as a mark of me gratitude, I've got you all a mug'o butter beer from the Three Broomsticks. Come on down when yeh get the chance.

( Private )

If anything serves teh sober a person, it'll be a fire. I'm afriad the quilt on me bed is goin' ter be ruined.

A little help please? Me whole Hut's goin' ter burn down in a minute!

( Private )

Who hid me crossbow? I only noticed terday 'cause I was going inter the forest. Come on, who hid it?

Unicorns. I can't describe 'ow beautiful they are.

I went in teh the forest today, you know, the usual thing. an' they were jus' there. A whole herd of 'em. So, so beautiful. They were grazin', jus' mindin' their own business, so peaceful, so calm. Yeh should have been there. Their manes were glintin' in the sun and there was this...twinkle, in their eyes that sorta spoke teh yer soul. Right inter yer heart.

I've never seen anything so beautiful before, in all me life. Completely took me breath away.

Note teh self: Thestral Babies bite when tickled.

New thestrals are up and abou'. They were born abou' a day or so ago. If you can see 'em, that's great, they're cute. But jus' remember not teh tickle 'em.

Isn't he a beauty? I found 'im in the forest. Got 'im back ter his Mum o'course, but I thought I'd show you this. He was jus' so cute.

I 'ave been attacked. I've nasty great sores all over me and a large headache. I dunno whats in them Greenhouses, but whatever it is, it's lethal!
Some Kolt'oppers got outta the forest and made fer the greenhouses this mornin'. O'course, they'd cause havoc in the Herbology lessons, so I went after them. No sooner had I set foot inside, then a dirty great plant star'ed hurlin' things at me! It was like a hail'o rocks. I dunno what it was throwin' but it bloomin' hurt. I managed ter get the Kolt'oppers you'll be glad teh hear, so 'erbology lessons are safe again. But at great cost ter meself. I hope you young'uns are grateful. Oh and, erm, sorry abou' the mess.

So, eh, hows everyone bin. Not seen you lot fer a while. Been stuck out in the forest. Nasty bit'o cold goin' round. Make sure yeh check with the nurse if yeh feeling even'o bit under the weather. It's nasty this. Oh, and if yer wonderin', the Thestrals are doin' fine. Their pregnancys last abou' seven months, so by next year, they'll be lots a young'uns runnin' about the grounds. Lucky fer those of us that can see 'em. Anyway, if anyone fancies a cup'o tea, head on down ter my hut. I've just put the kettle on as it happens, be glad teh see yeh.

I think My thestrals are goin' ter have babies!! HORRAY!!! Oh I can't wait! Baby Thestrals are the sweetes' things you've ever seen before in yer life. Nothin' like their parents, they're fluffy and, well they're still'o bit spindally in the leg area and those'o yeh who haven't seen someone kop it still can't see 'em, but there still'o treat. It's goin' ter be birthin' time soon, this March in fact. Once these are born, they'll be enough ter be officially a herd. Oh it's SO EXCITING!

Well I know this is'o bit belated, but never mind. 'appy New Year Everyone!
I've been really busy this year, animals 'ave been full'o cheer this year, takin' up most'o me time. Still, no complaining. Anyway, I 'ope you all had a nice Christmas and may the next year bring you luck.

( Private )

I'm confused. Where did my bloomin' trees go? I mourn them you know.

I love this time'o year! I've almost finished me knittin' for presents and I've put up me little tree already. Who's up fer mulled wine at me hut on christmas eve?

It's a shame the Dark Forest is Forbidden really, it's truly beau'iful in the righ' light. I've jus' been, erm, visitin' someone and I decided ter just have a bit'o a check on the trees we're cuttin' down for Christmas this year. I'm glad to say, they're doin' fine. The decorations this year are going ter be fabulous. You jus' wait and see if they aren't, those'o you staying at Hogwarts are in for a real treat.
( Private )
I think some'o the branches need a bit'o pruning, but then they'll be perfect. I can't wait fer christmas now.

The grounds are bein' invaded! We are for'unate enough to hav' a new infestation'o Snuff Yulterns. A Snuff Yul'ern, as most of yeh will know, is a small furry animal that enjoys cuddlin' up ter humans. They're very colerful and friendly. They'll move on in a few weeks so if yeh want to enjoy 'em, get into the grounds. I hav' a stock of their favorite berries in me hut so if any of yeh want to feed 'em, come an' see me. They really are lovely creatures. Please enjoy whilst yeh can.

( WARNING TO QUIDDITCH PLAYERS )

'ello. Nice to meet yeh. Let me introduce meself, Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. Call me Hagrid, everyone does. If yeh'd like to come visit, me and Fang'd be glad to see yeh. I'll make me famous rock cakes an' a nice bit'o tea. Yeh welcome whenever.